Mr. GrandmomThe Baby Boom generation used to warn against trusting anyone over 30. By the 1970s, however, many of them were parents themselves, and moreover, the men of this generation were playing a larger role in the lives of their children than their own fathers had in their lives. In some cases, men stayed at home while their wives worked, a family arrangement popularized in the 1983 movie, Mr. Mom, starring Michael Keaton.
Now, as the first Baby Boomers start turning 60 this year, many of them are well into their grandparenting years. This is spawning a wave of active involvement in the lives of their grandchildren, reversing a trend that developed in the post-war years, when families began moving out to the suburbs.
It turns out that having grandparents in their lives ? and especially grandfathers ? is good for both kids and parents alike. And, according to a report in the Wall Street Journal,1 more grandfathers than ever before are actively involved in raising and teaching children, often having learned from the experience of being “Mr. Moms.”
A professor of medicine at Yale University began studying stay-at-home fathers in 1981 and has been following them since then. He found that they have a confidence intheir ability to take care of children, to teach them, and to understand where they should be developmentally.
The parenting Web site BabyCenter.com recently conducted a survey which showed that 72 percent of families surveyed had grandparents living nearby. Among these families, more than three-fourths of the grandfathers helped care for the children. And, 41 percent said that the grandfathers are just as good as the grandmothers at providing childcare.
Another researcher at Kent State University found that the involvement of grandfathers resulted in children who had fewer social problems, more confidence, and better performance in school. Especially in fatherless homes, grandfathers are highly influential in the lives of children.
According to the Philadelphia Daily News,2 8 percent of all children in the United States live with a grandparent. And the U.S. Census Bureau reports that grandparents are the number one source of childcare for children under the age of five whose mothers work. This number increased from about 16 percent in 1985 to more than 20 percent in 1999. Today, grandparents play an even more important role, as some mothers and fathers are called up by the military.
In part, this trend toward pro-active grandparenting has resulted from a generation of people who have more years to devote to grandparenting. Americans begin having grandchildren at the average age of 47, but their average lifespan is now more than 77 years.
In the 30-year interim, they can do a lot of good. In addition, Baby Boomer grandparents have more money than any previous generation. According to AARP, about half the grandparents surveyed said they contributed financially to their grandchildren, both for living expenses and education.
While this may seem like something radically new and different, it is far more traditional than you might think. In ancient times, the entire family stayed together in a tribal unit for life. As recently as 1950, half of American homes included grandparents. It was only in the period from the late ‘50s through the ‘90s that families spread out and split apart. Now, they are once again seeing the benefits of multi-generational family units.
As noted in recent studies at the University of Ulm in Germany, most research in the post-war years combined two categories into one: Senior citizens and grandparents were seen as a single homogenous group and they were studied together. While that correlation may have been true in the 19th and even the early 20th century, it is not true now.
Being old doesn’t necessarily mean being a grandparent, and being a grandparent doesn’t necessarily mean being old. At the same time, the very definition of age has changed, as many people are now very active and healthy until much later in life.
This in turn has led to a redefinition of what it means to be a grandparent, and it has become a hot topic for social researchers worldwide.
Given these facts, consider the following five forecasts:
First, in their senior years, Baby Boomers will demand a more involved role in the world and in the lives of their grandchildren than their grandparents did. After World War Two, America became more and more of a youth culture, encouraged in large part by the Baby Boomers themselves. As they’ve aged, however, they have seen how the elderly can easily be marginalized in such a culture. But, because they are wealthier and better educated than any generation in history, the Baby Boomers aren’t going to sit in rocking chairs and watch that happen. Instead, they will continue to carve out a new role in society for themselves.
Second, new scientific and sociological research now underway is going to encourage their active role in the family. Already, researchers at the University of Verona have conducted studies showing the educational potential that grandparents hold for children. In other words, grandparents will see their stature in society steadily rise.
Third, the previous two developments will lead to a new definition of what a grandparent should be. Recent collaborative research has drawn together data from various studies to create the profile of an ideal grandparent. This person is between 65 and 74 years old; has a medium level of education; lives with a spouse; is close to, but not living with, his or her children and grandchildren; has grandchildren between the ages of six and 10; is willing to cooperate and support children in education and problem-solving; and enjoys playing with grandchildren and telling them stories about his or her own life and family.
Fourth, as the new generation of enlightened grandparents exerts its influence on their grandchildren, it will have a positive effect at all levels of society. The benefits will include well-adjusted children, lower stress levels among parents, better educational results, and even lower crime rates. In addition, the quality of life and health of the grandparents will be improved by having a useful role and more human contact.
Fifth, new industries will develop to serve this segment of society and enrich the relationships among grandparents and grandchildren. Already companies are springing up to take advantage of this trend in creative ways. For example, Generations Touring Company in Seattle specializes in inter-generational travel, designing trips that include attractions for the grandchildren along with accommodations that suit grandparents. Groups like the Foundation for Grandparenting in Ojai, California, are being established to help coach and guide new grandparents to make the most of their roles. References List :
1. The Wall Street Journal, June 8, 2006, “New Generation of Granddads Is Helping Raise the Kids,” by Jeff Zaslow. ⓒ Copyright 2006 by Dow Jones and Company. All rights reserved. 2. The Philadelphia Daily News, September 12, 2005, “Grandparents Play Increased Roles in the Lives of Their Grandchildren.” ⓒ Copyright 2005 by The Philadelphia Daily News. All rights reserved.
